...the end of my world as I knew it. I woke up to hell. My eldest daughter, the only one I gave birth to, died that morning.
Twenty-three years ago. It is hard to believe that she would be 23 going on 24 this year. She was the only perfect thing I ever did. And *I* had little to do with her being perfect, that was a God thing.
The fact is I have four wonderful kids that I did not give birth to, but I could not love them anymore if I had. But I *had* five.
Michél Lanai Nimrod was born at 12:47 p.m. on November 15, 1985. She weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. I wish I had been able to have her naturally, but at the last possible minute, she flipped and presented breech so I had to have an emergency c-section. It is amazing to me that I cannot remember what I did yesterday, but I can remember every minute detail of Michél.
She had dark hair, lots of it. Her eyes were mostly brown, but had the tiniest hint of green in them. She grew like a weed and sprouted a tooth at 6 months. She also walked a bit and said a few words when it suited her by the time she was 6 and a half months old.
I often wonder what she would look like, what she would like to do for a living and if she would have wanted to go to college. What would be her favorite color? There are so many questions and no answers.
I just want my other four kids to know how very much I love them and miss them. You are the world to me. I made a lot of mistakes, and for that I apologize, but thank you for letting me be your mom.
Bottom line is that I miss her every day and my heart aches for what might have been. Thank you for letting me remember.
I am a 42 year old female disabled veteran who is a College Student at Tulsa University. I love God, my Family and scrapbooking and would like to become a book editor, preferably of Christian Non-Fiction.