...I took these pictures on January 28th of this year and am just now editing them and posting. I love the way they came out. There was ice on the trees and the way the sun was hitting them it created a rosy glow.
Anyway, just a quick post with pics I just found and love. Have a blessed day!
...to a bright life that went too soon? If you figure it out, let me know. Today was Shela's funeral. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Not the hardest thing by a long shot. But it was so difficult. I thought that if I ran the sound booth for her funeral, it would help me stay focused and not cry. Instead, I had to look through the tears to see the controls.
They asked people to stand up and tell memories. I stood up and broke down sobbing trying to say that I would miss her calling me at just the moment I needed to hear a friends voice and I would miss her dropping by with a meal or small gift. She had a knack for knowing what I needed sometimes before even I did.
She had a gorgeous smile and you rarely ever saw her not smiling. She was so laid back that you rarely ever saw her get her feathers in a ruffle. I think I know of ONE time it happened and it lasted like 5 minutes. It was over the kids and it was over in no time at all and she was back to her normal self. So fleeting.
She had the voice of an angel, and not just me thought that. The song that really set her voice off and showed the control she had over it was, "Come Thou Fount." I could listen to her sing that song forever, and now I will only hear it in my dreams.
I know it is over. I know she is heaven and having a grand old time. I know I will never see her again...but how do I say goodbye? It is not fair. She had so much. She gave so much. She touched so many lives. I will never forget when we met. It was the week after Sissy was born. Shela was pregnant with Sissy the first time she attended our church. The next Sunday, she was in the hospital having or having just had, Sissy. And the following Sunday, she was sitting behind me holding Sissy and I asked how old Sissy was and she told me. Then she asked if I wanted to hold her and of course, I did! The rest, as they say is history.
I am the one who got her on the worship team. I heard her singing next to me and I told Tina and them that they needed her on the team. By the time she died, she was the only one left on the team.
She had such a precious soul and was so full of God's grace. She was so full of life, and now, she is gone.
Goodbye, Shela. I love you and I will miss you forever.
I know I should "buck it up" and "put it together" and "get on with life." But right this minute, in this place, I am not strong enough to "let go." :-( The sadness is overwhelming. Let me introduce you to Shela, yep, it is spelled right. Shela Buice (rhymes with dice) Cook. At 33 she is a loving mother and wife, an outstanding cook who actually loves to cook. And an angel on earth, she would give you the shirt off her back and cook you a fine meal to boot. She played a mean game of cards and took excellent care of everyone she came in contact with. Last night, sometime in the night, God called her home. He had other plans for her, I guess. But I can tell you that I am NOT ready to let her go.
This is not a good picture of her, but it was taken by me at our Worship Conference in Bartlesville last year. She was our worship team. She had the voice of an angel and the demeanor of a saint. I don't think I ever saw Shela mad. Not once. Her son could drive her batty, but she never lost her cool. She would get frustrated, aggravated and irritated but would not ever get mad or angry. At anyone.
Her smile could open doors and hearts like no one else. She baked and cooked like Paula Deen, was a regular Beaver's mom and always knew what you needed and when you needed it before you did. I cannot count the number of times that she showed up or called out the blue just when I needed her with whatever I needed before anyone, including me, knew I needed it. She was ALWAYS on time with birthday presents, unlike me. She did not get flustered, no matter what the situation. She loved kids. Any kids, all kids. She really had a heart for them.
Cooking, I know I have said it before, but if Shela was cooking, EVERYONE showed up. She was an awesome cook. And when you were crying, laughing, in pain, down and out or just depressed, she would whip up your favorite dish and bring it over with homemade bread.
Now, no one is here to bring me homemade bread and Half-bake. She won't be calling me from some random store to tell me she found something I might like. I have her bread pan. Her damn bread pan. And I cannot decide if I should keep it for posterity, or return it. I know it is just a bread pan, but it a symbol of my confusion. Jessa finally hid the darn thing from me because every time I saw it I burst into tears.
She made me a wall hanging out of Quilling. It has a friends quote on it and it is hung prominently in our living room. She MADE it. Do you have any idea how long it takes to quill?? It takes forever, And she made it for me.
But mostly, what do her husband and kids and parents and sister do now??? She hung the stars and moon for them. I keep flashing to Kirby, my dear Lord. He will never hold the love of his life again without remembering that he touched her and she was gone. He found her. How can he ever get over this? I mean, I know he will. He will start by reminding himself to breathe and putting one foot in front of the other...but how DO you go about doing this? Really?
And Nathan...he is 9 and a Moma's boy. Nathan is on the left. Mickey is on the right. Mickey is not her child, but he spent so much time with her, you would have thought otherwise. Nathan is Mickey's BFF. Nathan was so close to Shelaand he already has behavioral issues with ADHD and anger issues. What is this going to do to him? Losing his Mommy at this age? And Sissy, Victoria. She is her mother made over. Laid back, loving, kind...looks like her, walks like her and talks like her. At 5, how will she understand that Mommy is never coming home again? How do you look in these eyes and say, "Mommy is not coming home ever again." And will I ever again see this innocent smile?
I just want a do over. I want to go back to last night and start all over. I want to call Shela and just say, "I love you." I want to return her damn bread pan so she can make me more! I know, I am supposed to rejoice that she is with the Lord. And truly, I know Shela is in a better place than you or I. I really do. I have no doubt in my mind. She loved the Lord so very much. And she lived the life and walked the walk.
The siblings together, Nathan and Sissy.
I am sorry if this is selfish. I am sorry if this is disjointed or off the wall. I just had to get this out there. I am so lost and devastated. How do I keep it together for Kirby, the kids and the family? I do not expect answers, but prayers for this family would be awesome. Thank you for bearing with my depression. My world has been rocked off its axis. And the world of so many others has too!
...Ok, So Jessa is too early to actually have a Baby Bump, but I want to document her pregnancy and we took her first pics the day we found out she was pregnant. October 4, 2009. Based on her memory (Which is foggy at best) she is assumed to be about 5 weeks. I am guessing more like 2 months or more, but could be very wrong.
Jess is soon to be 24 and is about 5 foot or so. Here are her first pics of the blessed event.
...and I am excited, and worried all at once. My oldest daughter, Jessica, is pregnant. We are not sure how far a long yet, will find out soon. But she had a still born baby boy in June at 21 weeks and so this will be a high risk pregnancy. She is working to pay their rent, but Charles, her fiancé has not yet found a job. :-( So keep us in your prayers. God says to praise Him in ALL circumstances, and I am, but I must admit I am worried.
In other news, I am doing well in school although I am late with a Photo II project, he has given me the grace to allow me to turn it in on the 20th, so I have my work cut out for me. In PhotoShop, we had another day of work on the Worms Coming Out of the Hole so here is my next incarnation of that.
Oh! I do have the very first Baby Bump Photo. Let me edit it and I will post it too! Have a blessed night!
I am a 42 year old female disabled veteran who is a College Student at Tulsa University. I love God, my Family and scrapbooking and would like to become a book editor, preferably of Christian Non-Fiction.