...the end of my world as I knew it. I woke up to hell. My eldest daughter, the only one I gave birth to, died that morning.
Twenty-three years ago. It is hard to believe that she would be 23 going on 24 this year. She was the only perfect thing I ever did. And *I* had little to do with her being perfect, that was a God thing.
The fact is I have four wonderful kids that I did not give birth to, but I could not love them anymore if I had. But I *had* five.
Michél Lanai Nimrod was born at 12:47 p.m. on November 15, 1985. She weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. I wish I had been able to have her naturally, but at the last possible minute, she flipped and presented breech so I had to have an emergency c-section. It is amazing to me that I cannot remember what I did yesterday, but I can remember every minute detail of Michél.
She had dark hair, lots of it. Her eyes were mostly brown, but had the tiniest hint of green in them. She grew like a weed and sprouted a tooth at 6 months. She also walked a bit and said a few words when it suited her by the time she was 6 and a half months old.
I often wonder what she would look like, what she would like to do for a living and if she would have wanted to go to college. What would be her favorite color? There are so many questions and no answers.
I just want my other four kids to know how very much I love them and miss them. You are the world to me. I made a lot of mistakes, and for that I apologize, but thank you for letting me be your mom.
Bottom line is that I miss her every day and my heart aches for what might have been. Thank you for letting me remember.
I haven't told a lot of people, but my daughter Jessica called a while back and told me she was pregnant with my first grandbaby. To say that I was happy would be a misstatement. I was glad that she was happy, but I was concerned because she had no job, no home and no money. She has been kicked out of her father's home and met the guy she is with under less than stellar circumstances. *sigh*
I was so worried about her and the baby. She was not getting proper prenatal care, I know this. And I have been concerned about it, but there was nothing I could do. She would not listen to anyone. But what I would never wish on anybody, especially one of my children, happened today.
She called this morning at 7 and told me she was 21 weeks and in active labor that they could not stop. She was losing the baby. I realized then that I was looking forward to being a Grandma, even under the circumstances. She gave birth about 9:10 this morning EST and the baby boy was stillborn. They named him Alexander Peyton Thomas and he only weighed one pound. She forwarded pics of his foot prints and his little cap via text message. So impossibly small. She is, of course, devastated and I am devastated for her. I wish I could be with her to help.
No parent should bury a child. No matter what. I miss little Alexander even though I did not know him and I cannot believe I was so selfish and rude when she first told me. Lesson learned the hard way.
Ok, so there are no geese here, but there are plenty of ducks and there a couple of swans that were rather rude and standoffish. In other words, they would NOT come over to let me take their picture. Mean things! These were also taken at Kiddy Lake and show the wonderfulness of the park. I love looking at ducks and swans and am glad I could get some pics without getting attacked. In case you don't know, which most of you don't, Grans had ducks and when I would get home from school, they could be completely across the yard, behind a bush, asleep with their heads under their wings and the INSTANT I would enter the yard they would come at a dead run to try and attack me. It was always a race to see if I could make it in the door before they got to me. Needless to say, I am not really crazy about fowl, but I did manage to get pics and not get attacked so all is well! The kids were feeding them bread and having fun trying to get them as close to them as they could. Maybe that is why they did not attack. I am still disappointed that I could not pics of the swans. Well I guess I could have had I changed lenses to my other one, but I did not think of it till just now!
This is my church family setting up for Church at Kiddy Lake in Okmulgee. Kiddy Lake is an awesome little park with 2 ponds, ducks, geese and Swans and has recently been updated with new shelters and bathrooms. It has been in the works for a while to try and have a Sunday service in nature at Kiddy Park and as it happened, it was not only Father's Day but also Dinner Sunday! (We have a dinner Sunday the third Sunday of the month, every month. We all had a blast and played horseshoes and dominoes and just really enjoyed ourselves. This is Nikki and her boyfriend. Her Mom, Malinda is in the Nursery quite often and she always has extra kids. She actually has four children ranging in age from 19 down to 2. Crazy I tell you! This is C'Cie, one of our pastor's, her husband, Jim is our other Pastor. Norma, what a blessing she is to all who know her and some who don't. She has no hesitation in praying for people in public places and has prayed the salvation prayer with several people that I am aware of. Always smiling and happy, she is a true blessing. Wilma is a sweetheart. Her 96 year old mother is a charter member of our church and lives with Wilma. They are quite the pair. WIlma was telling me to throw her a rope here as she does not do uphill very well at all. The next generation. CeCe, Raven, Angel and in back, Cheyenne. Great kids though Cheyenne is rapidly growing up as are the rest. I think Cheyenne is now 13 so she is no longer in my kids church class. Makes me sad. Nana Mae. At the age of 18, she was in the congregation when Amy Simple McPherson, the founder of the FourSquare movement came through in a tent revival and is a the only living charter member of our church. She is 96 and feisty as can be. She has buried two husbands, the most recent was last year. We sure do miss Papa Roy a lot! Jim Ed is a funny guy and a generally wonderful man to have around. He helps out in Kids Church, works in Okmulgee and lives in Glenpool and he recently married Robin in our little church. They are a great couple and are always there to lend a helping hand to whomever needs one. Nope, not Jim Ed's wife Robin, this is Rhonda a sweetie whose son is currently in Afghanistan. She needs all the hugs she can get! And please pray for her son, Levi. Bill, what a pistol. He lost his wife last year to cancer and has battled that himself in his foot. His son is Mike and the two of them donated to our church our new steeple in honor of Nell Howell, their wife/mother. He is a wonderful man with kisses for all the ladies and loves to be in the middle of the action. This is Jim Smith, he literally came back from the edge of death with the good Lord's help and Norma's nursing. He is Norma's brother and a very well scriptured man. He never lets me take his photo so I had to sneak this one! He is a real peach! Dad and Fuzzy were fussing about me taking pictures. But I got one of them whether they liked it or not! Fuzzy is also a special blessing to our church and Dad is a rock. Christina, Jessica, Erica and C'Cie trying out a folding picnic table. There was some concern as to whether it would fold up on them so they were the guinea pigs. Margaret Maghe, my brother's second grade teacher. I can vividly remember that when I was in school at Wilson, which is where she taught, I did not want Mrs. Maghe because we were told she was strict and mean. I cannot imagine a nicer person to be around. She really is sweet but I can also see why the kids all thought she was mean, too!
As you can see, we have a lot of special people in our church. I will share more shortly as I still have plenty of photo's!
...we are about 30 minutes away from DONE with the house painting. Ronnie has been a Godsend, he has done most of the work, of course, we paid him, but he has just went over and above to make sure it is right.
Anyway, we have finished all but the south gable, he is finishing the trim on it as I speak. Here are a couple of pics, the one of the guy on the very long ladder is Ronnie finishing up the birds nest on the south gable. Now there is only trim left.
While we have been painting our house, and while Yvonne was in the Dominican Republic for a missions trip, Danny busted his butt and, with the help of their friend and his son, got a LOT done to the front. He replaced the rotting wood and the ALL of the screening and painted it. Looks great I think!
This is a pic of the building the day they were setting it. It was plain off-white. It has been like that for this whole time. Today we decided to start with it. Progress on the building anyway. Dad wanted to paint the shop first to make sure he liked the paint. BOTH of us really like the combo after getting part of the building painted. It will look really good with the peachy brick, I think. These are pics of the building so far. The dark green is called Rainforest Green and the light green is called canteen. I am really excited about the outcome and cannot wait to have the HOUSE painted too!
Well, yesterday we spent the afternoon getting the items we need to paint the house. The trim is currently grey and we have decided to go green. These are the before pictures, front and back. Cannot wait to see the end result. We are going to start today, so it shouldn't take too terribly long. Stay tuned for the after pictures. I might even do during!
I am a 42 year old female disabled veteran who is a College Student at Tulsa University. I love God, my Family and scrapbooking and would like to become a book editor, preferably of Christian Non-Fiction.